Cinco de Predicción: WrestleMania 22

In what is to become a Cinco tradition, all predictions will be done here instead of EAP BlogMix. Its just more appropriate. So things like the VMAs, sporting events, and whatever else needs to be predicted will be done here. And what better event to christen this feature than "The Granddaddy of 'Em All," "The Showcase of the Immortals," "The Biggest of the Big Four," WrestleMania 22. Hopefully I can step my game up to the "Big Time" and do better with these predictions than I did w/ the VMAs a few months back.

The Boogeyman v. Booker T & Sharmell
Prediction: Booker T may be a 5-Time, 5-Time, 5-Time, 5-Time, 5-Time WCW Champion, but The Boogeyman eats worms. Plus The Boogeyman is still undefeated. I don't see him counting the lights at the end of this match.
Winner: The Boogeyman

Playboy Covergirl Pillow Fight
2004 Covergirl Torrie Wilson v. 2006 Covergirl Candice Michelle













You know, I was ready to pitch a fit as to why this match is on the card. WWE Tag Team Champions MNM aren't on the card but these two are? But after looking at these covers, who really wants to see MNM anyways? (well, maybe Melina)
Prediction: I was ready to call Torrie in this one, but as much as I hate Candice I have to applaude her dedication to learning how to wrestle. I don't know how many of you guys saw RAW, but Candice breaking out a version of Jeff Jarrett's "The Stroke" made my night.
Winner: Candice Michelle (90% chance of interference from Victoria)
(How do you predict the winner of a pillow fight anyways?)

Interpromotional "Money in the Bank" Ladder Match
Rob Van Dam v. Ric Flair v. Shelton Benjamin v.
Matt Hardy v Finlay v. Bobby Lashley
Winner Receives a WWE/World Heavyweight Championship Title Shot at Anytime
Prediction: Who needs this match more? RAW or SmackDown? For once, SmackDown! has a weatlh of main event challengers. All of the participants of the Triple Threat Match, Undertaker, JBL, Benoit, and a returning Batista. So automatically anyone from SD! is discredited from winning this match. So then we have Shelton - current IC Champ. Doesn't need the push. Ric Flair - 16 time Champion. Name alone will get him a title shot.
Winner: "The Whole F'N Show" Rob Van Dam

World Tag Team Championship Match
Carlito/Chris Masters v. Kane/The Big Show (c)
Prediction: I'm thinking long term on this one. I love seeing Kane/TBS as champions but they don't need the straps. Plus someone is going to have to feud w/ the WWE Champ and they can't do that as a tag team. The tag straps will do good to give Carlito and Masters some presitige - plus they can always have the customary tag team break up feud. Question is, out of these two future stars, who plays the role of Marty Janetty?
Winner: Carlito/Chris Masters (expect LOTS of cheating)

Casket Match
"The World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry v. The Undertaker
Winner: Undertaker to improve his WrestleMania streak to 14-0
Losers: The fans. This is the match I plan on playing shuffleboard through.

HaRDcOrE Street Fight
"The Hardcore Legend" Mick Foley v. "The Rated R Superstar" Edge w/ Lita
Though traditional wisdom would say to not bet against Mick Foley, I'm going to. Edge needs to climb back up the rankings to even smell another title shot in the future.
Winner: Edge

No Holds Barred
Mr. McMahon v. "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels
Anyone else notice that there are two "hardcore" matches on this year's WrestleMania? I mean seriously, what's the difference between a hardcore match and a no holds barred match?
Winner: Shawn lost to Angle at WrestleMania 21. He lost (unwillingly) to Hogan at SummerSlam. He did the job to Shane McMahon at Saturday Night's Main Event. He was forced to join Mr. McMahon's "Kiss My Ass" Club. Unless Bret Hart himself runs in and screws up this match (highly unlikely), Shawn's definitely due.
Winner: Shawn Michaels

United States Championship Match
John Bradshaw Layfield v. Chris Benoit (c)
This is going to be your match of the night. Its also probably the hardest to predict.
Winner: JBL - He's the one who has more to gain from winning this match. Both are credible main eventers, but Benoit doesn't necessarily need the US Title to look good. On the other hand, JBL had to hold the WWE Championship for 10 months and go over Booker T, Angle, Undertaker, Eddie, and The Big Show, before anyone even thought he was a credible main eventer.

Women's Championship Match
Mickie James v. Trish Stratus (c)
They've built this feud up slowly and steadily. Now its time for the real payoff match.
Winner: Mickie James - This bitch is crazy. And she's hot. And she's done a little softcore porn before. PLUS she can actually wrestle. I say let Mickie win it and have Trish chase her for the title throughout the summer.

World Wrestling Entertainment Championship Match
Triple H v. John Cena (c)
I hope and pray that this is not the WrestleMania main event. It'll be watchable, but SD! title match looks so much better on paper.
Winner: Listen. Wait for it...




JOHN CENA TO RETAIN.
Trips knows that belt is his whenever he wants it. He's knocked up Vince's daughter. Why rush it? I say Trips does the "honorable" thing and lays down for Cena. Why?

So he can demolish him at Backlash.

World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match
Randy Orton v. Rey Mysterio v. Kurt Angle (c)
Winner: A difficult match to predict, but I'm going to go against the grain of all the internet smarts and choose Rey Mysterio to go over as champion (instead of Randy Orton). As wrestling fans, all of us like Rey Mysterio and feel that he is deserving of holding "the big strap" -- even if just for a little while. Sure, the majority of his push is a direct result of the unfortunate passing of Eddie Guerrero, but Rey was deserving of it anyways.

Tags: WrestleMania, WrestleMania 22, WrestleMania Prediction